Women historically across male-dominated cultures have struggled with the contradictory ways in which they have been viewed, portrayed, and treated in religious texts and in popular culture. This, in turn, has had an impact on how women view themselves, their own potential, and the manner in which they treat other women.

A chaste woman or a virgin is honored and even becomes an object of adoration, for example, Tara and the Virgin Mary. Yet, at the same time, her fully blossomed body becomes and a source of trepidation and anxiety to those around her, even undercover, such as in the habit of a nun.  Her sensuality and attractiveness are often viewed with suspicion, as an unnecessary distraction, or as an object of lust and a commodity that can be used or abused to sell almost anything. Bollywood, Hollywood, and popular culture abound with such images. Religious texts often depict women as impure, inferior, an object of revulsion, or as an obstacle to men’s liberation. Women’s accounts of abuse are often ignored or ridiculed; worse, women may becomes target of suspicion, as in Sigmund Freud’s famous (or infamous) seduction theory.

As a consort and wife, a woman may gain a measure of respectability as being the “better half” or as a necessity to raise the kundalini energies to attain divine bliss. Yet, her purity, honor, and fidelity are still questioned. The stories of Sita and Draupadi, as depicted in the Ramayana and Mahabharata epics, respectively, illustrate this. Women’s emotional nature, her “instability,” and her wrath are also feared. The “dark feminine” is seen as a destructive force that could unleash havoc and confusion. Women therefore are seen as having to be controlled and subjugated to the more rational, logical steadfastness of the male. Ironically, when evil forces need to be controlled, it is often a woman who is called upon, such as Kali or female protectors like Palden Lhamo.

It is as a mother that a woman often (re-)gains the status of veneration. She is now viewed as caring, compassionate, and willing to sacrifice her own needs for the well-being of others. At this point, her sexuality can be overlooked and even forgiven! Her ability to “give birth to” accords her a unique status. In some cases, even without literally giving birth, she becomes the object of devotion due to her mother-like qualities, such as Mother Mary and Mother Teresa.

How have women, lay and ordained, with predominantly male gurus in patriarchal cultures, sustained themselves in light of these contradictory images and expectations? How have women who longed to fulfill their deepest spiritual yearnings avoided the patriarchal minefields and realized their fullest potential? The lives of early Buddhist nuns such as Mahaprajapati will be examined as examples from the past, alongside the remarkable stories of modern day Western Buddhist nuns like Ven. Tenzin Palmo to gain insight and inspiration.